"Fall Apart"

This past week has been quite a struggle for me.  Trying to keep a focus on my classes, studying and just not get too down an depressed about losing Gram.  As I was talking to a girl on my soccer team about it on Tuesday at soccer practice.  I broke down in tears.  Her words were such a comfort to me though.  She reminded me that it really is okay to cry ;)  Things will be worse if I try holding it all in.  She asked to tell her about Gram.  It really helped me just thinking about her and remembering all of the good things about her and the time that I was able to spend with her.  This July, Gram would have been turning 92 years old!  She was blessed with having a life that long!!! I'm so glad I had her in my first 19 years of my life.  She was the last grandparent I have living.  It is taking some getting used to that this is all real and that I won't see her again until Heaven! Oh what a Glorious Day that will be!!!!!! I'm sure Grandma is enjoying her time in Heaven right now with Pap, 3 of her children, all of her siblings, parents and grandparents that she has lived without for so long.  She was such a blessing in my life!!!!!

This past week I have heard a new song that really has become my comfort.  Music seems to speak to me in ways that not many others can.  I can read things, people can tell me things, but when it is in a song it just speaks in a whole new way.  The song is "Fall Apart" by Josh Wilson. Here are the lyrics to it.  It describes EXACTLY my thoughts right now!!!! Sometimes we feel like the whole world is against, but we forget that God is in control and is the storms, sometimes God is all we need... not only when things are good :)

Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know you when my life was good
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give You praise

Now it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

Blessed are the ones who understand
We’ve got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to You

And it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing that
Has ever happened to me

My whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when
You will find me when I fall apart

I'll be seeing you soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!